A lesson in charisma….
We all have that friend. The one we are in awe of; who we watch fascinate and inspire effortlessly. That person whom everyone wants to be-friend. Now they are either filthy rich…no not me, or they have charisma. Also not me. I think I might get my coat….
Charisma is one of those words we all nod sagely to, able to point to it when we see it. But pushed, most of us find it difficult to expound upon. You might find it surprising to learn the word came into use with a religious tinge, featuring in the New Testament Bible seventeen times. It was linked to the bestowment of spiritual gifts by God. In the 1920’s, Max Weber, the German sociologist broadened the definition from its religious beginnings. He wrote charisma is:
“…a certain quality of an individual personality, by virtue of which s/he is “set apart” from ordinary people and treated as endowed with supernatural, superhuman, or at least specifically exceptional powers or qualities. These as such are not accessible to the ordinary person, but are regarded as divine in origin or as exemplary, and on the basis of them the individual concerned is treated as a leader.”
When you scour the internet, a huge number of pages discuss charisma (or ‘rizz’ as the colloquial term of today which was even crowned Oxford Word of the Year 2023). Sites will try to define it, explain it and advise how you too can be charismatic which suggests it is a yearning many of us conceal. Reflecting on charisma over 25 years of interviewing, the British newspaper columnist Maggie Alderson wrote in Noema magazine: “I still don’t understand what creates the effect.… If not fame, beauty, power, wealth and glory then what? It must be innate. I find that quite thrilling.”
But I do wonder if it is as innate as she suggests. Being charismatic is not the same as being liked or having a wicked sense of humour or being the most empathetic. It is an embodiment of the elements of magnetism; attraction, charm, holding court. It is gripping to those in thrall and also inexplicable. Charisma interpreted in this way amalgamates features of a personality. History is randomly spotted with those who have been labelled charismatic….Winston Churchill, Napoleon, Mohammed Ali, Barack Obama, David Koresh, Hitler……
But returning to Weber, he suggests a nuance. Proposing charisma ‘wasn’t about the power of the individual — it was about the reflection of that power by the audience; a process of interaction’ (Noema). This suggests charisma is activated through the eyes of the bystander. It is only obvious when we participate or observe an exchange, which implies the what of charisma varies and is not solely innate because in our involvements we each discern something different of each other.
Take a moment as I’m sure that’s confusing.
My sense is both elements of charisma are true. Our personality shapes how we project ourself and what is fascinating to someone is quite individual. But I think what we’d agree on is charisma is special and unusual. Regardless of it being innate or what we judge — it is not commonplace to be charismatic.
Evidence suggests much of our behaviour or personality is derived from our genes although no single gene explains us. The remainder of who we are is shaped by environmental factors — from our interplays with those we connect with, education, cultural and socio economic factors and…what we chose to be. (My post on Alter egos touches on how we ‘become’ someone else). Our physical traits — the need to smile responsively, employ touch judiciously, move your hands more expansively are more arduous to mould…but it is not impossible. Through discipline therefore, it is within our wish to evolve how we interact or project ourselves socially. That is by way of careful thoughtful steps we can alter our personality and therefore how we are perceived. A path to charisma is hackable even if at the start of our metamorphosis, we are clueless as to whether we can become one of the chosen few…
I think I’d like to be charismatic. And to be fair, I’m half way there. I hold court by boring on my latest blog post, I inspire loyalty from my cost centres by with-holding cake and emotional blackmail… it’s quite similar to charm, isn’t it?
Anyone need a charismatic new friend?
